James Kelly
| Sex | Male |
|---|---|
| Nationality | English |
| College | Queen's |
| Clubs | Blues and Centaurs, Queen's |
| Teams | Blues, Centaurs, Queen's 1st, Queen's 2nd |
| Course | Economics and Management |
| School | Ermysted's Grammar School |
| Matriculation year | 2007 |
| Year retired | 2010 |
| Blues | 2007/082008/092009/10(Details) |
Statistics
for Blues and Centaurs
| Apps (sub) | Minutes | Bookings | Goals (pen) | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Last season | 7 (1) | 383 | 10 | 3 (1) | |
| Career | 42 (1) | 2561 | 10 | 20 (4) |
Biography
Skipton. The home of English football.
James Kelly is the already fabled central midfielder of the Queens 1st XI, although this versatile young man is also a demon left winger. His left foot is already feared throughout the JCR Second Division and his ability to win the aerial battle is yet another feature of his scintillating game. His Stephen Gerrard-esque work rate in the middle of the park has already established him as the engine room of an industrious and formidable Queens midfield, and earnt him the nickame "Special K". legend has it that the lad's first words he spoke were 'Kel's up' - a phrase that now resounds around all english football pitches
The Kelster already has two goals to his name this season. One at home to St Peters, a low and powerfull strike from a free-kick just outside the area. The second, even more spectacular, scored away at Brasenose, has already gone down in legend: Special K showed his desire with a massive tackle, then burst into the box and calmly put it away.
After notching a 40 yard lob for the Blues, the lord mayor of Skipton has approached Kellster asking him to give a motivational speech in the town hall, after which, he would be made a fellow of the city. However, Kellster has had to decline the BBC North West news television opportunity as such an appearence would contravene his £30,000/year golden handcuffs deal with Kellogg's cereal Special K. In the same vein as KP Nuts attempted (and failed) to sign England cricketer Kevin 'KP' Pietersen, Kellogg's have embraced the mood of the masses, and swooped up the Special K and his exclusive imaging rights. Despite the Kellster's well known affection for Weetabix, he has agreed to give up publically eating his beloved wheat snack in return for the mega pay off. From January, Kellster's grinning face is set to appear on a massive billboard on the M1, with the slogan 'Just Special K'. In a continuation of the simmering Kellster-Keown rivalry, Martin has responded by annoucing he will be the new face of Pedigree Chum dog food - Martin promises that a billboard six time bigger than Kellster's will be seen along the B371 near Skegness, where the writing underneath a huge a face of a barking Keown will read 'Animals. you've gotta love 'em.'
Indeed, Kelster's status within the OUAFC hierachy was undermined further on Saturday 23rd February 2008, when an televised episode of football focus broadcast Kelster's footballing abilities in a less than favourable light to more than 2 million viewers. The BBC cameras recorded one particularly poor strike at goal from the Skipton winger, dribbling towards the goalkeeper at an embarrassingly slow speed - a shot that prompted Keown to respond: "that lad, no way is he getting my job, he hasnt even played for England".
