Roy Cooper
| Sex | Male |
|---|---|
| Nationality | English |
| College | Mansfield |
| Clubs | Blues and Centaurs, Merton/Mansfield |
| Course | Theology |
| School | Southborough School, Esher College |
| Matriculation year | 2005 |
| Year retired | 2008 |
Statistics
for Blues and Centaurs
| Apps (sub) | Minutes | Bookings | Goals (pen) | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Last season | 2 (0) | 180 | 00 | 0 (0) |
Biography
Roy was our formidable captain last year and did a sterling job but it was he's slightly unnerving motivational emails that disturbed people. With such quotes as:
"Every player needs to look at his opposite number and be able to
shake hands at the end of the game knowing that they bullied them over the entirety of both halves! When I look around at the 10 players around me on Friday I know that I will have confidence in each and every one of them to perform."
And in response to one of our players saying "I had the touch of a rapist today"
Roy said "In that case, you can rape me anyday!"
This kid lives to be in pain and never stops running. He is also always the first to admit to his occasionally "retarded" faults. However, he has recently developed a somewhat hypocritical fetish for refusing to "play the way he's facing".
Unfortunately, Roy's geography is very poor. He believes that Great Britain and Ireland is made up of two countries: "England", and "Everywhere Else". This means that Roy uses "Scotland", "Ireland" and "Wales" as synonyms.
When not playing football, Roy enjoys gorging on Haribo (by the bagful), French Fancies and Doughnuts from Krispy Kreme. There was one time when an entire box from the latter failed to sate him so he ate the box as well. He is an advocate for breakfasts of re-formed ham; however, this did not prevent a serious hamstring injury in October 2007. He also relishes essay crises.
